About
on the internet!
This is the second cat named Teilah (sp?) I’ve met. The first was aloof and would only allow you to pet her when you didn’t appear as if you wanted to. This cat climbed on my lap in the first 5 minutes of meeting me. I kept her company on her last moments in the house she knew best. She is moving to RI with her fambly today. Meow. I should rename this blog to “cats on the internet”.
Went to the pittsburgh zoo with my brother and nephew. It’s been a long time. Saw plenty of big cats napping in the shade. When we returned home, I had a nap with francis, who is a much smaller cat. He slept on my chest and it was especially comforting.
I don’t think it would matter where i go, i imagine this feeling would follow me. I feel like every experience has been repackaged and re-purposed. Nothing is really new. I wake up in the same bed, with the same sheets, with the new rip in the middle of them. The hole reminds me of the space you occupy and rediscovering the shape of what was once familiar. I want to tear these sheets in long strips, but doing so would force me to buy new sheets or never sleep. But this is really nothing new. I’m awake and i will be. The anesthesia isn’t working. I never want to see these streetlamps again, or the neighborhood they illuminate. Or the town i live in. I don’t want to see the next town i live in, the beautiful mountain vistas i’ll grow to resent. I love this album and i’ll never forget it, but it will never recreate the night we belched the words in your basement. I want to capture it, certify reality, but perhaps i’ve remembered it wrong, we were never here at all. The glimmer of glory days dull in the retelling. The moment’s passed, it cannot last. This has been done before, and what really do i have to contribute? I’m mired in the mundane and getting too comfortable. A change in routine & scenery is no change at all. If every experience is processed and interpreted by association, it ultimately dissolves into repetition. I don’t know where i’m going with this or where i’m coming from. I feel simultaneously empty and full. It confounds me to no end. Except for this one.
The last of the Lon Gisland garbage bags. Purchased 2 years ago, when I was learning to fall in love again.
Saw Dragonslayer at AFI Silverdocs with Melissa. Hint: it’s not about dragons.
Went to the gym (on purpose) for the first time in my life. Ran 2.5 miles and did numbers of reps on various weight equipment. Huzzah.
All of my friends were here, and now they’ve all left within 12 hours of each other. Lonesome is fairly descriptive of my mood. There’s something else to it though. A void in my daily routine? I hear it is dangerous to go alone.
Lucked into a fantastic dinner at my brother’s.
I’m half convinced that nobody really likes the person I am and would prefer I changed into some sort of beautiful butterfly. I’m simply just friendly and generous enough to tolerate. I don’t feel especially worthwhile.
Curiosity at the yard sale yielded excellent results. Though she was reluctant to let the gems go.
